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The Beginners Guide to How To Change A Duvet Cover

 How to Change A Duvet Cover

… And How to Make it More Enjoyable !! Stumbling around on the web the other day, we came across a hilarious article written by Guy Browning for the Guardian on the issues with changing a duvet cover.   Having over the years seen the act of changing duvet covers by men, women and children, the art and science of it definitely comes to personal technique. The chimneysweep method he describes below is particularly ingenious although slightly more difficult for a one child family.   He does however miss out several other techniques for changing the duvet cover.

If funds permit, simply throw away the duvet itself and simply sleep in layers of duvet covers, thus removing the need to ever deal with the duvet itself and also adding the bonus of turning the layers upside down each day to create a new look in the process.

Secondly, a variation of the chimneysweep technique is to cut two lengths of wood and securely attach them to your arms. Take the duvet and attach the two top corners to a door frame or opening, then ( we suggest you do this stage before as it can be challenging with two pieces of wood sticking out from your body ) hang the duvet cover, opening facing forward.  

From this, you simply run and jump arms forward in a Matrix type twist jump, inserting you, your arms and duvet at the same time into the duvet cover, thus completing the process in one successful motion.  We call this the Twist and Shout technique. Note caution should be taken to ensure adequate space, however this technique can also be done on the floor, simulating the belly down slide of a glorious goal, straight into the cover.

Overall this technique both combines practicality and physical agility hence could also be used in the scenario of impressing a new lover, however can end up with some injuries hence its name the Twist and Shout technique.

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Another technique that is favoured by some is to remove all stitching down two sides of the cover and replace with Velcro. The sticking technique is favoured by men mostly reminiscent of velcro shoes, however children find it particularly interesting to play with at 4am in the morning when mummy and daddy are in bed. Finally after talking to our many friends, the best advice was very simple – get someone else to do it.

We cant help you change the duvet covers, but hopefully choosing it we can help with. Guy’s article is below:

“Whenever you get the feeling that mankind is at the top of the evolutionary tree and that our civilisation is a great and wonderful thing, see if you can change a duvet cover without looking like a complete idiot.

Changing the duvet cover is nature’s way of punishing you for not making the bed for six months. Sports scientists have shown that changing a duvet cover is the equivalent of an intermediate course of yoga and a four-mile run. Mentally, the process is the equivalent of attempting to parallel park in three dimensions. If your duvet isn’t square, then it’s like parallel parking while being strapped upside down in your car.

You would have thought that putting a cover on would be as simple as putting a square peg into a square hole. Unfortunately, something odd happens, so that as soon as the duvet comes into contact with the cover, it loses all its corners. Once you’ve finally got hold of one corner, you can pass the entire duvet through your hands and never find another.

The chimneysweep method is where you take two small children, give each a corner of the duvet and send them into the cover. View their progress from the outside, then turn on their favourite video when they reach the corners. Button up the cover and shake it down, checking first that there are no children still inside.

The condom method is where the cover is rolled up and the duvet is fully stretched out. Then roll the cover down the outside of the duvet and button up at the bottom. This method, practised every night, is itself an effective method of contraception.

The spinnaker method is very effective, especially for tall people. First, pull the cover over your head, then stretch it out like a big sail. Then walk carefully around the room until you’ve located your duvet. Without letting go of the cover corners, bend down, pick up the duvet with your teeth and stand up, pulling up the duvet with you. Now, use one arm at a time to locate a corner and pull it into the corner of the cover. Finally, fall face forward on the bed and wriggle out of the cover, leaving the duvet inside.

Men have come up with an ingenious way of solving the duvet changing problem. They leave it on until a layer of sweat welds it permanently to the bed . When things get really bad, they move house.”

 

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